As it relates to marriage and relationships, over the years I’ve found that one of the biggest disconnects and misunderstandings is when each person is giving themselves too many points and too much credit for doing things that the other one thinks is just expected of them in their role as a husband or wife.
For example when a husband comes home from work and feels like he’s made his contribution to the family for the day and nothing else should be required of him. Or, a stay-at-home Mom who’s at home cooking, cleaning and transporting kids all day and feels that she’s done contributing to the family when Daddy walks through the door.
Continuing such behavior can ultimately lead to what I call the BBF Syndrome, which is a form of mutual Bitterness, Burnout and Frustration. I know from first-hand experience that a notion of “I’ve done too much” and “You’re not doing enough” is likely to develop as a result of this dreaded BBF Syndrome.
But take heart my dear friends for there is an antidote that’s sure to knock this syndrome out of the park of any marriage and relationship. It’s one me and my wife, the Marriage Family Therapist, have developed that works like a charm. And, I’m sure you‘ll find some value in it as well in your relationships if you’re not afraid to adopt it as your own and put it into practice.
It’s called “Communication”. That’s right folks good ole’-fashioned talking-it-out to get a better understanding of where each of your individual expectations meet reality. Being a productive spouse and parent in a household doesn’t stop at a certain hour of the day and it has nothing to do with dependency. Being a well-balanced spouse and parent has to do with accepting the notion of “Interdependency” which means that both parties have to agree to work together on mutual ground with a common goal to get the maximum benefit of the relationship and prevent the BBF Syndrome from creeping in.
A little bit of compromise coupled with a little bit of shared work can go a long way to save the day and keep that relationship from going astray, okay? 🙂
Simply put, no one of you two is better than the sum of you two, so cleave together as it says in the “good book” and combine your efforts and don’t be surprised when you’re making that marriage thing GREAT!
Keep Making it GREAT!!!
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The book, “Bread Crumbs to Making Marriage Great” is coming soon so stay tuned……
www.MyCouplesCorner.com
www.MrBreadCrumb.com
